Mom and Dad, thank you for always believing in me and for loaning me all that money when I squandered my life savings on that Ford F650 Superduty full-size pickup, and all the gas it takes to drive it.

Bubba, you're my brother. Not just because we have the same parents and we're both boys, but because we're friends.

David Jay, thank you for shooting our wedding for free. I'm going to tell all my friends about you and hopefully you'll be able to shoot all of their weddings for free too.

Marmalade, you're like grapes and sunshine and chocolate chips. I love you like the stars love the moon.

Ford, thank you for making such dependable, long-lasting full-size pickups and SUVs.

Mommy and Daddy, I love you so much. In a land full of starvation, you are my world peace.

Buttons, you are my best friend. Thank you for being my maid of honor.

Tyra Banks, if you're reading this, thank you for being there for me every weekday at 3:00 pm in the afternoon on the CW. You and the Gilmore Gilrls are like sisters to me.

Santa Claus, thank you for the My Little Pony you gave me 3 years ago. I love her like I love butterflies. And ladybugs.

My darling Jorge. I know you're not Toby Tobyton, and you know very well (as you so often remind me) that I am not Scootie Bootkins. But we've got each other, and that's a lot for love. Let's give it a shot.

Jorge

Marmalade